


A Hand to Hold

by explodingnebulae



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Feel-good, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Pre-Game(s), Slice of Life, Star Gazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:00:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9870491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/explodingnebulae/pseuds/explodingnebulae
Summary: Ignis has a hard time sleeping, only to find that the future king is, for once, feeling the same way.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! (A week later...) This was supposed to be done a week ago, but life is a major distraction. Anyway, this takes place a few days after the reconciliation in the FFXV: Brotherhood episode, "Bittersweet Memories"
> 
> Enjoy!!

The last few nights had been difficult to say the least. Lying awake for hours on end, tossing himself to one side only to roll to the other and check the clock once again. The last he checked this time, it read a quarter after two o'clock in the morning. He needed to be awake in three hours. Letting out an audible sigh, he reached to his nightstand and grabbed his spectacles. Tomorrow involved more council meetings, more involvement in Amnesia politics, more of the prince's duties.

He was not adverse to the notion of completing Noctis' work for him, only the judgmental gazes cast upon him for doing so. Or rather for not ensuring the heir apparent's presence. The meetings proceeded without the prince, delivering reports with him in absentia, Ignis always accepting them in his place. As future adviser to the king, he needed to be present, although it was not his responsibility to undertake half of what he did.

Occasionally, he would question why he even bothered to take care of such an uninterested and ungrateful man. He was a man now, Ignis thought with a mental roll of his eyes. Eighteen years of age and unable to tend to his royal duties. He would rather waste his time away with Prompto at the arcade than spend an moment of time longer than he had to with either of his royal guards. It hurt in a way. To be forgotten by one who cared for him for so long, who stood by his side, who knew each of his starry-eyed dreams from a youth now forgotten. If it were feasible, Ignis would not hesitate to reach for that Noctis, stretch himself to the point of break to latch to the boy who would watch the stars fall with him.

He shook the thought from his mind as he placed his glasses squarely on his face and made his way to his kitchen. The quiet of his apartment was deafening, giving the loneliness permission to sequester him in to some foreign place. He fought against the sensation as his bare feet touched smooth hickory floorboards. There was no reason for him to feel as he did, and he would stubbornly repeat the rhetoric until his dying breath. Nothing he did would change reality. Noctis was not an object to be held close to one's heart. Who he was in their youth died years ago and the carefree affection they had displayed was nothing more than childhood fancy. He could no longer feel that way. He could not crave what he did. It was unprofessional.

Yet, he could do nothing do dissuade it. No matter what he told himself, no matter the words he silently repeated in the mirror, no matter the evidence to support his conjecture; he could not stop feeling as he did. Affection was a behavior that did not come easily to Ignis, having always faltered greatly in his interpersonal relationships. Only Gladio and Noctis were among his friends, the rest were acquaintances with whom he had once or twice spoken to. But his affection was readily there when it came to Noctis, even if it was stifled at present.

He opened his refrigerator and grabbed a can of Ebony coffee, the aluminium can cooling his palm. Before he could open it a knock sounded at his door, caution flooding into him with the force of a breaking dam. Ignis set the can onto the counter and carefully moved toward the door. Even if he was only the strategist, Ignis still needed to proceed with caution. His life was worth nothing next to Noct's, but a fair price was still placed on his head. He looked through the peephole and saw someone he had not expected. Especially at this hour.

"Noct?" Ignis could not mask the surprise in his voice, the emotion plainly displayed in his tone.

"Hey, Specs. Sorry if I woke you, I know it's late," Noctis muttered apathetically. Ignis recognized the tone as the one he used when masking an underlying disturbance. He moved to the side and motioned for the prince to enter. Thankfully, Noct remembered to take off his shoes, even if he did kick them wherever they willed to go. Ignis placed them on a designated spot on the shoe rack and followed him into the living room, curious as to his intention.

Noctis dropped into the lounge chair and threw his legs over the arm, clearly making himself at home. The movement was one that struck a cord in Ignis, but he shook the annoyance from his mind, focusing only on the verdant concern swelling in his body. The prince's eyes followed his form as Ignis walked to the chair next to him and sat. When he was situated, he gave a motion of his hand for Noctis to explain his presence.

"I don't feel like staying at my apartment tonight. It's too quiet," he shrugged before contorting his face into a yawn. "I know I have all this shit I could be doing, but..."

Ignis nodded, mostly as a sign of his attention, though part of him agreed wholeheartedly. He ached to feel as Noctis felt, to be able to let himself slip to the wayside every once in a while. The strategist wanted to let his hair down, so to speak. Noctis reached out, his hand demanding Ignis', a habit that had been discontinued in their adolescence. Not wanting to squander the opportunity to try to reconnect with Noct, Ignis seized the hand, holding it gently in the air. Caution dissipated and adoration began to manifest in an esoteric part of him.

"Did I? Wake you up, I mean?" Noct asked after moments of silence ticked by. As much as he enjoyed their shared silence, he gave a small sigh of relief when Noctis spoke. He didn't necessarily want to have heavily involved conversation, but he did not want to go without hearing Noct's voice.

"No. I haven't been able to sleep yet," Ignis returned casually, not wanting Noctis to make a scene over his lack of sleep. Not that he would anyhow, given how he simply expected Ignis to be running at full power regardless of the circumstances. And Ignis would deliver every time.

"Well, then. That makes two of us. You want to go for a walk or something?"

In the middle of the night? Had Ignis heard him correctly, or was his mind playing tricks on him? Had he really fallen asleep and was imagining the events taking place? He bit the inside of his cheek to ensure consciousness then thought on the idea for a moment. Noctis wasn't one to remain awake for any amount of time, so maybe a walk would quiet whatever was troubling his mind.

He gave a nod and dropped Noct's hand before making his way to his bedroom for a change of clothes. He heard the prince shuffle behind him and need not look to see the other following at his heel. Something must have been bothering him more than he initially thought. Noctis only became that necessitous when something couldn't be shoved aside and ignored. Ignis motioned for the bed but Noctis was already walking by him and climbing onto the disheveled mattress. He hadn't intended on company, but Noctis didn't seem to notice the sheets in slight disarray.

"It was a little colder out than I thought it would be. Could I borrow a sweater or something?" The inquiry came as yet another surprise that Ignis had not anticipated. Noctis' tone had been bland, monotone when he asked the question, yet the words themselves should have possessed some type of rise or fall. Ignis, however, shook the stupefaction from his form and gave a silent nod. He went directly to his closet and browsed through his clothes before he found something that would suffice and grabbed it from the hanger. He handed it to Noctis who immediately pulled it over his head. "Thanks."

To say that the image of Noctis wearing his clothes made his heart skip a beat was to underestimate the severity of the reaction the strategist had. His breath caught in his throat and he felt a pool of warmth force its way through the barrier he began constructing a few years earlier. He had wanted to remove the part of him that melted upon seeing Noctis, the part where the uninhibited affection dwelt from years of connection, but he had failed miserably. The construct faltered at least once a week, and he would surrender to anything Noctis wished, internally cursing himself for not being able to be the stoic strategist he needed to be. And the sight of Noctis wearing his clothing barreled through the construct without hesitation or much resistance. He turned from the prince and returned to his closet.

Next came his own change of clothes, which he took no amount of time on and the two made their exeunt in silence. Together, they meandered the oddly quiet streets of Insomnia, Ignis remaining at Noct's side, ensuring he was nearest the buildings rather than the street. Even though they walked in perfect tandem with one another, Ignis let Noct lead them wherever he so felt. The direction was not one unfamiliar to Ignis, and there was a small twinge of hope in the pit of his stomach when he realized how close they were to a familiar shared spot.

Noct casually slipped his fingers into the empty spaces of Ignis', the future adviser's pulse quickening at the menial contact. It was reminiscent of their childhood, in a strange way. The two sneaking off hand-in-hand to the hills. Each not saying much. Ignis was thankful for the silence in more ways than one, knowing that he would have unquestionably suggested returning to the apartment given the dangers of the city at night. But he remained quiet, content to follow his future king whilst holding easily to his hand.

In earnest, he would follow Noctis regardless of the location. So long as he was able, he would not hesitate to accompany the one he had spent the majority of his life with. 

"I guess you've figured out where we're going by now," Noct mumbled, his focus unerringly on the path as they veered from the sidewalk. His hope flourished within him, turning in on itself only to expand to consume his entire being. Ignis tried, with much futility, to fight against it but failed at every turn.

As any weak man would be, Ignis could not grasp his emotions; he could not snuff them out as he had managed to do for the last couple of years. He inadvertently squeezed Noct's hand tighter and gave a silent nod. Ignis did not want to risk his voice betraying his disposition, so he remained quiet, hoping that Noctis received his response even though the prince was focused on the dirt pathway in front of him.

They reached the hill in no time, the walk there something of an autonomic function to both of them, and Noctis took his place on the dew-soaked ground. Not wanting to be dragged down by Noct, Ignis took his place beside him, grateful that his choice in jacket had been one of his larger, less form-fitting ones. He glanced at Noctis to see the pullover he wore doing the same for him, providing a barrier between his jeans and the ground beneath him.

Ignis looked to Noct as the prince looked to the sky, his eyes full of a nostalgic wonder that caused a pang of regret in the strategist's heart. Perhaps he had been too hard on Noct for the wrong reasons, or maybe he had been approaching him from the wrong angle. Though brought up as his chamberlain, Ignis was also Noct's friend. Maybe in his adolescence, Noct needed a friend more than an instructor. It explained why he shied away from his two older friends and gravitated to Prompto. Prompto granted the prince freedom and normalcy neither Gladio nor himself could. Each constantly reminding him of the duties he would have to undertake.

He reflected on the night they sat in Noct's kitchen eating ramen and came to the conclusion that his initial conjecture had been correct. As much as Noctis needed guiding, a gentle hand to help guide him there would have been more efficacious than a stern look and a demand to do it.

Noct's voice pulled him from his thoughts and Ignis searched for the words that managed to slip by him. When realization came to him, the chamberlain worked his jaw once and shifted his focus to the ground.

_"Why don't we do this anymore?"_

"I..." Ignis paused and searched for an acceptable response. No such answer came and he delivered a hushed sigh in its place. "I'm not entirely sure. I would imagine we grew too old for childish fancy. Gazing at the stars became less important than what duties we'd been assigned to."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Still, we should make time. I miss doing this," the prince responded and let his head rest against Ignis' shoulder. Ignis relaxed at the touch, the contact soothing his guilt-ridden mind. Noctis hadn't been the one consumed in duty or weighed down by tasks and politics. Or if he had been, then Ignis failed in his personal mission to lighten Noct's burden. He took it on so Noctis could have somewhat of a normal life, even if he wanted him to willingly incorporate some of his royal duties into his everyday life.

He looked in Noct's direction when the prince removed his head from his shoulder. Ocean eyes wasted not a second of time and fixated on the night sky, each star sparkling radiantly in the deep pools Ignis couldn't remove his sights from. In the moonlight, Noctis' skin took on a milky quality, as though his flesh was composed of pearl and his jet black hair appeared nearly blue in the light. A breath slipped from his lips, a genial smile taking place of what had been a grimace, and Ignis mustered the courage to take Noct's hand in his own as he looked to the sky.

Noctis, however, rejected the contact, withdrawing his hand from his companion's. Ignis felt the flames of embarrassment begin to lick his innards, his stomach curling in upon itself at rejection. He had taken a chance, and had been immediately refused. It did not make sense to him, however, and he turned to face his charge.

There was a question resting in Noct's mind; the familiar expression made itself clear to Ignis, even under the cover of night. Before the chamberlain could form his own inquiry, Noctis was moving. The prince's head rested against his thigh, eyes once again fixed on the stars, hands folded together over his torso, and legs bent.

Ignis relinquished his anxieties with an exhale and looked to the sky. Atop the hill they used to frequent, the lights of the city were beneath them, a glowing, hazy blanket to cover the rest of civilization from reaching them. On the dew covered grass, it was only the two of them, sequestered on a floating island above a sea of lights and mundane busywork. The dark ocean above them glittered with specks and bands of light, hardly dark at all, with a half-full moon shining down on the pair. His mind numbed to everything around him, his upcoming duties melting away, the muffled sound of cars growing silent altogether, and even the dew soaked grass seemed to vanish from beneath him, until nothing existed except Noctis and the sky they shared.

Only one thought crept into the expanse of his mind as his fingers ran through Noct's hair. It was an impossible and rather idle fancy, he knew. But Ignis could not, nor wanted to, dismiss the idea roaming free within his head-space. The sensation it created started entirely separate from his head. A feather-light twirl in his stomach was the onset and he let the rest consume him, indulging for but a moment in the delightful buzz occurring within him.

"You okay, Iggy?" Noct's soft voice inquired, the words entirely too delicate for those of a usually intransigent prince. Ignis removed his attention from the stars above and was taken aback by the sight below him. Noctis' beauty rivaled the stars, his effortless ability to take Ignis' breath away nearly offended him, and for once he made no attempt to hide his adoration.

"Yes, I'm just..." he searched for the word, retrieving his verbal memory banks and searching through them as one would a Rolodex. Every locution falling short of his precise emotion. With a sigh, more so from defeat than satisfaction, Ignis had his rather simple phrase. "...content."

"Yeah, me too," Noctis replied lazily as he returned his attention to the sky. A yawn ended the prince's sentence, a signal to Ignis that their time outdoors would be drawing to an end shortly.

He would not hesitate to admit to Noctis that he could remain there with him for eternity and never complain once. Whatever it was that they had lost along the way, Ignis realized, had not been lost at all. Rather, it had been set aside for reasons neither could fathom as they gazed at the wondrous beauty of the night. Ignis had done it for the sake of business, for his duties to remain objective. However, they had not been objective to start with. Everything he had done revolved around the wayward prince and the stubborn resistance that accompanied him. The compartmentalized emotions were unnecessary as they sat atop the hill. Their absurd grudges against one another vanished with each finger that ran through Noct's hair.

Noctis let out a subdued sigh, an easy grin pulling at the edges of his lips, and the chamberlain realized something. The boy Noctis had once been did not disappear, age had not killed the gentle youth within the prince. Ignis could see him in the other's smile and the glisten of half-lidded eyes. His Noctis was still there and only Ignis could see him this way. The carefree affection they displayed mirrored their youth, only in a more intimate clarity. Years had passed and Ignis thought with that time, Noctis had slipped from his grasp like fine grains of sand through a sieve.

_His Noctis._

A rather bold claim, even for the future king's strategist. Ignis smirked at the thought but did not deny himself the idea. Perhaps one day, when they were older yet, Ignis would confess to the prince. He would tell him every last detail of his affection as they shared a breath, but he would never push. He would be whatever Noctis needed him to be at the time he needed him to be it. But he would always be there, loyally at his side, ready with a hand to hold.


End file.
